Tag / unrequited love

by Gabrielle McLean

Unedited Poem #3

When you feel like you’re merely tolerated, but you can’t stop yourself from trying. Just in case.

by Gabrielle McLean

The Shallows

Few words, handwritten, 
A few words in imagination 
Rewriting history and rewiring heads 
She molded herself unrecognizable 
Brand new being, brand new self 
For the sake of never being known by the ones she once knew 
Notions anew, and urges finally followed through 

She takes me with her, one handed 
Heart changing in a haven of her own time 
Time so forgiving, for her own mind 
Time forgotten in me - I’m stuck in past lives 
Still sitting on a picnic blanket, a bible in shared hands 
I was lost once too, until she found me there 
Read me for what I was and loved me for it 

Years gone by the wayside 

Familiarity upon first encounters 
Unmistakable familial ties, tied in unison 
We were tangled together 
But she unravels before my eyes 
Satisfying the temporal; temporarily hostile 
The promises made just for fun 
But I didn’t know it was just for fun 
I didn’t know then what I fear now 
Illuminated understanding in what I never could see 

Crossing fingers in far off places 
I whisper wishes she can’t hear 
Pray to a god she’s forsaken; a God I don’t ask for anything 
But I’m begging for forgiveness in the honesty 
I’m begging, as my voice shakes 
A life once loved already faded, still on the line in it’s entirety 
She talks to her friends and I’m so unjust 
She talks to her mom, who says she can do better 

Attempted salvation; a lesson in futility 
I go unheard and slip through the cracks 
Waiting, though I’m not sure for what 
Waiting, for a reality long passed 

A past in the making
Keep it small, keep it sweet
by Gabrielle McLean

Sparkler

I’ve been barefoot all summer 
Grass stained knees from chasing after you 
Warm breeze, ash on the ground 

Love so quick, watch it fade 
Forget all about me 
As new lights illuminate your dark sky 

It’s exciting, isn’t it? 
It was so exciting when I was still bright 
So exciting to light me up 
And blow out my flame 

You left me there, used up 
Useless to you now 
Dew-stained and formerly pretty 
I was alight, a few minutes ago
by Gabrielle McLean

Unspoken

I only sleep with the thought of you 
Waking up empty-handed 

No one speaks your name, but I wanted to 
Nothing but a theory best preserved in silence 

Distance well-maintained, too long to change 
Because you live nextdoor and I still write you letters 

Letting you down even in fantasy 
I always say more than I mean to 

My secrets within you - I know you keep track 
And I don’t know what occupies your day 

You admit you want me; I admit that I used to 
Hate to admit we ran out of time 

My cliche 
Your missed opportunity 

I’ll always be on the tip of your tongue 
What might have come from simply showing up sooner 

Tangled in intangibility 
The sweetness of heartache - dull and damning 

You could’ve been the death of me 
You aren’t even the life I have left 

There’s supposed to be freedom in a fall 
If only someone learned how to jump 

Speaking in riddles back then 
Sending me forever back in time 

I’m whispering words you pretend not to hear 
Just to see what time may have left to change 

I swear I’m not selfish 
I’m a girl frozen in time 

Promised I’d bury your bones, but I never got around to it 
Your eulogy has sung inside me all along 

Unfinished lyrics I wrote with no intention 
No ulterior motive in waiting on you 

Empty prayers, no resolution 
Let me romanticize nothing at all